29 Dimensions of Compatibility, My Ass!

DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN!

He's Neil Clark Warren. Actually, he's a schister...a snake-oil salesman...a con man...a fraud...need I go on?

If you can't tell already, I've decided to sign up with eHarmony for the innocent one-month membership. What could go wrong in 30 days, right?

Five days in and I might have just put an ad in the Union-Tribune asking for rodeo clowns, because the people Dr. Neil Clark Warren and his crack-pot team over at eHarmony thought were apparently amazing matches for me have instead caused me to go into greater depression and start to double-lock my doors at night.

Take the profile of Brianne from Costa Mesa for example (and no, the names have not been changed to protect the innocent...):

"I'll listen to anything once, and enjoy almost all forms of music (especially country and musicals!), except most rock and rap."

Um, I can't fucking stand country and my iTunes collection is 80% rock and rap. Wow, they've really hit it on the head on this one! But hey, it's only music...big deal! It's not like this girl admires Rosie O'Donnell or anything...

"I also find Rosie O'Donnell very influential, but not in terms of her politics or her personal sexual preferences, but in terms of her strength."

Dear God, kill me now.

"I used to get scared watching Matlock."

Seriously? I paid how much for this shit?

And to be honest (but not shallow because physical attraction should play a HUGE role in chemistry), this girl was fugly. I know I'm no Marcus Schenkenberg myself, but really, when you can't even bring yourself to scroll past her profile photo, it's tough to take everything else in consideration.

Of course, when I do get a looker like Nicole, I find out she's "unemployed and not really interested in working right now", "loves to party", when people meet her for the first time they find out she's "a super flirt" and she apparently can't live without "tequila, my vibrator and Daddy's credit card". Interesting, yes. Stable relationship, no. And, Michelle, yeah, you're fucking hot but bringing up your ex-boyfriend four times in a 10-question "About Me" doesn't really do it for me.

Don't even get me started Nadya, the Buddhist from Los Osos, California. Her profile is so absurd, I have to reprint it in it's entirety:

The one thing Nadya is most passionate about:

• This morning I am most passionate about ginger tea, a delicious down comforter, and going to the beach.

The three things which Nadya is most thankful for:

• I am thankful for sudden sunshine, measured breath, unfamiliar birdcalls after dawn.
  
• I am thankful for love in all manifestations, for creation, compassion, bliss.
  
• I am thankful for being of service, for startling realization, for when I'm wrong, for ruby red grapefruit.

The most important thing Nadya is looking for in a person is:

• Can they explain to me how a conversation is like sex?

The one thing Nadya wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

• My underwear matches my nail polish.

Nadya typically spends her leisure time:

• In my leisure time I enjoy tasting every arch and dip of your body. I also enjoy laughing until I cry, the spaces between your thoughts, being alone, communicating, and walking barefoot along the edges of the surf.

The things Nadya can't live without are:

• laughing at myself with exquisite abandon
• tea
• pen, paper, books
• thinking and not thinking
• water

The last book Nadya read and enjoyed:

• Calvin and Hobbes.
  

Christ Almighty.

And if I get another "match" for an over-30-year-old woman who loves her five cats and can't live without her CourtTV, I'm going to hang myself from my curtain rack.

Less than a week and I've gotten a dozen awful suggestions for love. If anyone else tried eHarmony and got shafted, I may be starting a class-action lawsuit if you want a piece...

But hey, who knows...maybe Bri, the 25-year-old, 5'3" massage therapist is the one?

Things I Love 2

Last year around this time I posted a list of "Things I Love" (you know, to tie-in with Valentines) and I recently re-read the post and decided to add some more stupid little stuff that, for me, makes life better. Enjoy!

Vanity plates
I like personalized license plates, no matter how lame they may be. I LOVE trying to figure out cryptic ones more than anything. I always wanted to get "YNG GOP" but that time has passed...maybe "OLD GOP" when I hit 60? Or when I get my Bentley, I'll roll with a "JLEDERER" plate.

Movie credits
I love sitting in a theater after the movie ends and just watching the credits. I learned this from my parents. I don't think they did it out of respect for cinema or anything else...I think they just wanted to wait until the aisles cleared to leave. But I do it because it’s peaceful. I can reflect. It's great after a tear-jerker and collecting myself or after a wild ride and trying to comprehend everything I just experienced. The bonus is sometimes at the end, there's something extra to be seen (ie 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off', 'X-Men: Last Stand', 'Naked Gun', etc." Conversely, I hate when at the moment the movie ends, someone on the next row shouts out to their friend, “I can't believe he was the murderer!!”. Or "GOD, SO OBVIOUS!!!" as someone said five seconds before 'Paycheck' finished and pissed the shit out of me.

Over-friendly waitresses
I love it when waitresses (especially the older ones at greasy spoon diners) call me "Sugar" o r "Honey" or any other name like that.

Chinese food serving sizes
I love the way fast-food Chinese restaurants — the good ones — will just PILE on the food. The Panda Express near my apartment, you order a two-item combo and you end up walking out with a six-pound plate of Orange Chicken and chow mein.

Flippin' the script
I love when people you expect to believe one thing believe exactly the opposite. The ideology doesn’t matter as much to me as the ability to go against type. I like very liberal Democrats who are card-carrying members of the NRA. I like uber-conservative Republicans who march against the war. I may disagree with them, but I totally respect the individuality. Hell, I can even respect Red Sox fans who like Derek Jeter (I hate him but damn it, do I respect him) or Larry Bird fans who concede Magic was better or huge Beatles fans who will admit that The Rolling Stones had a few equally great songs. I just like it when people can mix it up a little bit.

Got an Inkling of a Feeling...

I think I want to get another tattoo soon.

I'm not really one for artwork or murals, I like the more subtle words or phrases, kinda like my current ink:

The quotes that I really like/describe me/are a part of my philosophy of life and would be worth putting on my body are as follows:

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger" -Friedrich Nietzsche

"Cogito ergo sum" (I think, therefore I am) -Rene Descartes (I like the look of this example, just not on my neck!)

"2+2=5" -from George Orwell's '1984'

Like I said before, artwork really isn't my style, but atop my list would be the girl and angel off the Smashing Pumpkin's "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" album cover. There are several reasons why, of course. Not only are the Pumpkins my second favorite music group, but I think the colors are great, it's beautiful (actually the combination of one famous painting and one not so famous), and most importantly it truly evokes a lot of emotion every time I see it and it's got a sort of celestial and angelic feel to it, which really seems apropos right now in my life:

I'm comin' up!

Workouts have hit an entirely new level, but I'm not worried about burnout cuz (1) the results are suh-weet and (2) it's fun! It's 2O+ miles on the bike before work and 20+ again in the evening. (I'm really digging the Hills Plus setting.) On my lunch break I'm going home and putting in 30 solid minutes of my P90 DVD and tonight, I started my Tuesday Tai Chi class at the Y. (Wow...between that class, my love of philosophy, my kind-heartedness, my new-found interest in becoming spiritual and my celibacy - yeah, I said it - I think my calling may be as a Buddhist monk!)

The only "downfall" of this regimen is I'm taking 3 showers a day, so I can only imagine what my next SDG&E bill will be...

To my three best friends, one of which has notoriously bad ankles and a surgically repaired ACL, another that is going under the knife soon which will prohibit him from hitting the weight room for a while and another who has diabetes and a horrible case of "frozen shoulder": I've already passed one of you up (down?) in weight (although muscle mass and strength is a whole 'nother matter), and I'm gunning for the other two of you.

I've thrown down the gauntlet and you've been put on notice!

:)

Site Tracking

I love checking my ShinyStat site tracker reports everyday...it shows how many visits I'm getting, projections for the week/month/year, what websites are linking to me, what countries I'm getting visits from, and my favorite report: which keywords people use to find my blog.

Just in February, people stumbled upon The Year of Joe by the following interesting, funny, and down-right odd website searches (click on phrase to see why my blog was attached to those keywords):

"lay off me, I'm starving"

Actually, The Year of Joe has been found three times because of this famous Chris Farley bit! In addition, a search of "lay off man im starving" brought someone to here as well. What's really weird is the original post linked to above talked about interesting ShinyStat findings just like today's post! Cue Twilight Zone music...

"adam g. partridge facebook"

Adam, you either are quite vain and searched yourself AND didn't tell us you had a Facebook page or someone is trying to hunt you down.

"you got served raindance"

I'm glad someone else thought that scene was ridiculous (or so I hope.) Oh, and I could look at that Sarah Silverman photo all day long. Sigh...

"bill belichick sweatshirt"

The Google search of "bill belichick sweatshirt" has to be up there with classics like "paris hilton sextape", "dick in a box" and of course, "adam g. partridge facebook".

"jelly of the month club"

Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

"q.lazzarus +goodbye horses"

I can only imagine what that person thought when they came across my post.

"shit valentines"

Yippee, my favorite holiday is right around the corner! Seriously, I'd like to reprint what I originally posted:

Don't get me wrong. Would I have had someone to spend it with, I'd love the day. With my willingness to go all out and my spontaneous romantic creativity (yes, I have it, just no one to use it on), I would rock the shit out of Valentine's Day.

And ladies, you know this!

I'm def gonna have sushi again though, that's for damn sure.

"rolling stones dvd bootlegs blogspot"

Odd, but I recently put up that post so maybe that's why it got picked up.

"evangeline lilly woman of style"

Yes, yes she is. By the way, how freakin' awesome was the Lost season premiere last week? By the way #2, in the post linked above, I did a "favorite things" list. I was actually planning on doing another list this week. Cue Twilight Zone music...again.

"i will never forgive you for making us move to oakland"
This was a head-scratcher for sure. But I did the search myself and discovered I had posted that joke back in this blog's infancy. Must be a pretty popular joke for someone to Google search the punchline.

Big Game Blogging

For fear I'd get sued by the NFL for using "Super Bowl" in my title, here's a couple quick random thoughts and links to check out while the Patriots and Captain America enjoy their 4th championship since 2001.

* * * * *

Whoever invented rain sucks!

I'll be stuck here at work during the game. Not that I had any big party to go to or was planning on drinking and pigging-out (grilled chicken and a protein shake for me, thanks!) but I can't even enjoy the game and commericals from the privacy of my own 20' x 20' studio...instead I'll be in wool trousers, a button-down shirt, Cole Haans and answering phones. Yay for me!

* * * * *

For all of you in a squares pool, check your squares and take a look at Doug Drinen's latest blog post at Pro-Football-Reference.com for your odds of winning.

* * * * *

This is my workout cap...


It was brand new (and white) in December...If you think the cap has seen a lot of change since joining the gym, you should see ME!

* * * * *

Predictions for today:

Pats 31, G-Men 20
Tom Brady named MVP

(Not really going out on a limb, I know.)

* * * * *

Thanks again to everyone for the kinds words, calls, texts and emails of support these last few days. It all meant so much and I can't believe how lucky I am to have great friends.

Ideas vs. People

My friends are suddenly getting political on their blogs (well, not really sudden in Adam's case) and with Super Tuesday right around the corner, who can blame them? Hell, even the notorious fence-sitter and anti-political (publicly, that is) Kory threw his hat into the ring. No matter which way your chad hangs, you should check out John's recent post on why he choose Obama and other political ponderings. I don't agree with him on several fronts, but it's good writing nonetheless. So good, it's inspired me to wax politico a bit here.

With the failure of the legit conservative campaigns (i.e. Duncan Hunter and Fred Thompson) and the less-than-inspiring support Mitt Romney has achieved thus far, there has been some understandable wailing by conservatives about the state of the GOP. Among the remaining Republican candidates, there is one genuine conservative on some core issues but basically abandons others (Huckabee), a moderate-in-conservative's-clothing who is generally if not as dramatically out of step on a large number of issues (McCain), and one candidate (Romney) whose current positions are conservative friendly but have shifted from his early voting record so much that some people really don't know for certain how trustworthy he might be if he actually won the general election. Oh, and there's Ron Paul too. Trust me on this one, conservatives are definitely asking "Has our party abandoned us?"

Well, color me badd crazy, but I believe it has not. I know all of you carry your mini-Constitution with you at all times so please re-read Article II, Section 1: "The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America." President...that's singular, you know, an individual. Hell, it's a human for cryin' out loud, not a robot. One human being, that's who gets elected and holds the job of President. Not some perfect vessel and that's a fact that must be repeated again and again until people understand that winning and losing elections and choosing leaders is about picking the right person from the available choices. Ideas don't run for president, people do. While my party's remaining options certainly reflect our view of the ideas each man supports, I think it's a grave mistake to read the choice of one man over another as the final and definitive statement of what ideas we truly support. I, for one, as a Republican would like to know that the candidate we end up with has more people behind him than just the ones who agree with every one of his ideas.

If anybody should be upset, it's the "progressive" liberal movement (which, after Kerry in 2004, was needed to keep the Party somewhat relevant) because they have a candidate who is aligned with the base and is genuinely charismatic and well-funded and apparently viable in the general election, and the nomination is drifting away from him. But even there: Obama isn't "progressive" ideas. He's a junior Senator from extremely liberal state of Illinois with the most liberal voting record on the Senate floor and with a very limited resume. And his opponent has her own personal advantages, from name recognition to money to her gender to her husband, who personally occupies a unique position in his party (and will be quite a fascinating case-study ten years from now no matter what happens in this election.) If Obama loses, the "progressives" have a cause to be upset, but it's not Obama's fault, it's the progressive agenda.

I think that the same can be said for McCain. I mean is it just me or is McCain many voters' second rather than first choice and as the field narrows, he's cherry-picking votes? Sure, Fred Thompson, Sam Brownback and Duncan Hunter all had their flaws as campaigners and as potential presidents. It so happens that each of them - the total package all wrapped together - failed to catch on with the voters. What does that mean? Personally, I don't think it means a full-scale, across-the-board movement conservative could not win the nomination and the general election. But it does mean something we ought to know by now: that a full-scale, across-the-board movement conservative can't win the nomination and the general election every four years. My fellow conservatives were fortunate, once upon a time, to have a man named Ronald Reagan lead us. We are not so fortunate every four years. We have been presented with quite a collection of men, each with his own particular virtues as a candidate. We should not take to heart the inevitable process by which one of them is chosen.

Maybe 2008 is the right moment for a moderate Republican, and maybe it is not. We, both Red and Blue Staters alike, can whine and moan about the way the world works, or we can do the best we can with the time and the tools that are given to us. Just remember this one thing: Ideas don't run for president, people do.

My 2008 Election Endorsement

After doing some John Kerry-esque flip-flopping (started out with Duncan Hunter since the middle of last year, then Rudy when Hunter dropped out, then a 50/50 split a few days later between McCain and Romney), I've finally figured out who I'm supporting and voting for...

Duel of Duality

The difficult thing for me right now is the extreme duality of the situation, on so many levels:

*For the past three months, I honestly have never been in a better place in life, really an all-time high. After yesterday's news, I'm suddenly at the damn-near lowest point of my life.

*Although unable to totally express it, I lately have never had so much love to give. Now, I instantly feel empty.

*As a life-long Atheist, I've dismissed what lies beyond life. Now I find myself wondering what will really happen to my devout Catholic grandmother when she passes.

*In a similar vain, I've been doing a lot of thinking about love, marriage, and finding that one person to spend "forever" (which meant until death) with. All of a sudden, I wonder if death does end that togetherness or if there is a way to literally spend eternity with loved ones.

The Void of Not Knowing How

I've never been one to allow myself not to learn new things. I constantly find myself diving into books about various topics, if nothing but to say I know a little about everything. However there is one thing I do not know anything about and honestly, it has me confused. That subject is death.

My Dad called me today to tell me that my grandmother (my Mom's mom) had suffered a stroke overnight and was in the hospital is critical condition. The news rocked me, as I have never experienced a death to someone truly close to me. In fact, I've only experienced the passing of somone merely twice: my great-grandmother died in her 90s sometime when I was around 5 and the grandfather of a former girlfriend. I attended both funerals but really didn't understand death and how to cope.

I know it's likely that I'll lose my grandmother this week but I don't know how I'll take it given how I reacted today. When my Dad told me the news, I was stunned and sad and felt like crying. But I didn't. I listened to my father on the other end of the phone struggle to relay me the situation and updates and the whole time, I wondered why I wasn't feeling the same way. And I'm a very openly emotional guy.

Not only am I unsure of how I will personally handle the death of someone close to me, but I can't even imagine how I'm going to be able to cope how my parents and sister react. I'm afraid I won't be able to help them through this trying time. Everyone deals with death and the loss of life and love differently, I guess.

It's the void of me not knowing how to deal with it which makes me most uncomfortable, scared and saddened.

A Nickname Timeline

I believe everyone should have a nickname, good or bad, it really doesn' t matter. It's the having one that makes them so great.

Of course the best nicknames are the ones that either describe someone -- whether accurately or sarcastically (like a big guy named "Tiny") -- or stems from an incident that got them that moniker. Then there's what I call the "teammate" nickname (called that because it's present in sports a lot), which simply adds a "y" to a part or the end of your last name (Schmidt becomes Schmidty, Jones becomes Jonesy, Davis becomes Davey, Figgins becomes Figgy, Erstad becomes Ersty...). There's the J-Lo trend of nicknames, too (ie A-Rod, K-Fed, X-Tina.)

I've never really had a good, legit nickname. I've had plenty, but nothing really solid and as we speak, I consider myself sans nickname. Below is a historical timeline of my nicknames:

1979 - present

"Joe Willie"

I was actually born with a nickname. During his NFL career, quarterback Joe Namath was often called Broadway Joe and Joe Willie (from his middle name William.) Since I was named after Namath -- first and middle name both -- all my dad's buddies started calling me Joe Willie as soon as I came home from the hospital. A few of them still jokingly refer to me as Joe Willie.

1979 - present

"Joey"

Almost everyone on my mom's side of the family still calls me Joey.

1987 - 1991

"Iceman"

'Top Gun' had just been out and I'm sure people were being called Maverick and Iceman more than ever. I was tagged with the Iceman name by my Little League coach, who called me that because "when Joe pitches, he has ice water in his veins." The name also carried over into my soccer career, as I was an all-area all-star at goaltender (in all honesty, I was really good!) My team's won league championships almost every year and would always make it to the finals, if not win, all the area cups and tournaments. In a championship game, I faced two penalty kicks in regulation, plus five in a shootout. I blocked all seven shots. Ice water, baby.

At the time, I really dug being called Iceman but like my career as a Little League closer and AYSO goalie, the name was short-lived.

1991

"Chief Running Scared"

Okay, here's the story. It was middle school and I had my first ever girlfriend. She had a birthday party at her house and of course, I was there. During the party, she pulled me aside to her room. Being the clueless kid I was, I started checking out the crap that was on ther bookcase or dresser or something like that, my back turned to her. When I turned around, she had taken off her shirt and bra, exposing me to my first pair of in-the-flesh breasts. I'm not sure what most 13 year olds do these days, or even back then, but I know what I did...I ran. I ran right out the room, out the front door and down to the corner pay phone, where I promptly called my mom and asked her to pick me up, lying to her that the party was over.

The next day at school, I found out I was given the Native American-esque nickname Chief Running Scared, probably because 'Dances With Wolves' had come out around the same time. It's safe to say that the girl and I are not currently dating. In fact, she dumped me a few days afterwards, citing that I was "too slow." And she wasn't talking about my foot speed...

1992

"Meat"

It was fair to call me a husky kid when I hit puberty. Not fat or chubby by any stretch of the imagination, but I wasn't slender by any means either. I also set a Long Beach Pony League single-season record of 26 hit-by-pitches my 13-year-old year (I have the stat book to prove it...not sure if it still stands.) I was also the starting catcher of the team, and as any catcher will tell you, it's a tough gig. Balls fouled off, bruises from blocking pitches, etc. Given all the above circumstances, my Pony manager lovingly told me "Man, Joe, you're just a piece of meat out there!" The name Meat stuck.

1994

"Sylarm"

Probably the weirdest of all my nicknames, but during my freshman year in high school, I hung out with two guys from the golf team a lot. One already had the nickname of "Syrup" because of all the gel he put in his hair and the other kid was named Laramie. Combine "Syrup" with Laramie and you get Sylarm. It was a nickname that only lasted my freshman year and was only used by my golf teammates.

2000

"Sloppy"

In a feeble attempt to give me a nickname, my friends tried to call me Sloppy Joe. Not sure if it was because of my appearance or because of the way I handled my booze, but it was Sloppy for a good six months.

2000

"The Kenyan"

I think this is the only self-imposed nickname I've ever had. It stemmed from one long and loud New Years Eve night involving a girl and a sleeping bag and subsequently, a series of, um, "exploits" with said female regarding my "stamina". When my friends didn't believe me, I simply told them "Dude, I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon man...I'm like those Kenyans, baby!"

2001
"Two-and-oh Joe"

In an attempt to get in shape, I took some serious one-on-one boxing lessons for about four months at a local gym. Around the same time, a friend asked me if I'd even been in a fight and I said "I've thrown a punch only twice...and I won both times." So my amateur mixed martial arts record is 2-0, hence the name. (Fight history: first punch thrown was in 8th grade when a kid made fun of my sister and threw a grape Blow Pop at her...I decked him and chipped a tooth. My next foray into hand-to-hand combat came in 2001 when I was a youth sports coach and referee for the YMCA. During a soccer game, I threw a kid out of the game for constantly slide tackling opponents. When I threw him out, his dad started screaming at me from the stands. After the game, I was putting the balls and netting away in the storage bins. When I walked out, the dad jumped me and in self-defense, I threw a wild right hook which connected somewhere on his head. Luckily there were other parents and adults there to restrain the dad and prevent me from going 1-1.)

Nowadays, if it's not just plain ol' Joe, I get a lot of J-Led's, Leddy's and Big Joe's thrown my way. I guess not having a nickname isn't the end of the world, but still, it would be cool.

20 to 1

20 beers left in my fridge that I don't plan on drinking any time soon
19 days until Black Thursday
18 days until pitchers and catchers report
17 more points the Patriots will score than the Giants
16 stinking dollars, my tax refund from the State
15 months until Kory gets hitched
14 more days until I hit Los Angeles and visit The King
13 more months until I hit the big Three-Oh
12 is still my lucky number
11 hours +, the time I'll be at work tomorrow if it rains
10 shots, the margin of victory for Tiger at this week's tourney
9 months or so until I head to Florida for Level I PGA testing
8 missed phone calls I had during my lunch break today
7 days, my expected time on the East Coast for vacation come May
6 minutes until I'm outta here
5 days until Lost is back on the air!
4 more inches until I reach the waist size I want
3 days since I last went to the gym...but I'm going back tonight.
2 times I had to kick our Local Drunk out of the bar today
1 lame blog post

Quote of the Year #2

In comes our second entry into the The Year of Joe Quote of the Year (which, from this point on, will be referred to as TYoJQotY...an easy acronym to remember such a worthy award, don'tcha think?)

While sitting in the lobby of the local AMC, waiting for Theater 17 to be cleaned so we could check out 'Cloverfield', an odd fellow come over to me and my friend and pointed to Theater 18 and said "What is that movie about?" I had no idea what was showing next door, so I shrugged my shoulders and he said "Something about a girl moving?"

My friend chimed in with "Oh, 'How She Move'...it's a dance movie."

Weirdo: "What kind of dancing?"

Friend: "Hip hop."

"So a bunch of black kids moving around? Thrilling..."
--Weirdo

Wait A Minute, Mr. Postman...

Thanks John for the unexpected Christmas gift!

Putts and Pats

I drove to Temecula and back tonight to attend my first PGA-sanctioned seminar. It was called "Mastering the Mental Game on the Greens" by Dr. Joe Parent, mental and putting coach to PGA stars such as Vijay Singh and David Toms, as well as celebrities Kenny G and Oscar De La Hoya.

It was two hours chock-full of great advice, techniques, and wonderful anecdotes. I chatted with Dr. Parent for five minutes or so afterwards, picking his brain on the the positive thought process he uses with his clients.

The presentation was very good and somewhat intimate. There were about 30 members of the country club it was at and about 10 of us teaching professionals. I was able to meet some of my fellow pros and they were all seasoned vets, so they were willing to part some wisdom to a newbie like me. I'll definitely be attending more of these things, to not only help build my teaching philosophies, but to network and also try to improve my game as well.

* * * * *

Man, those Patriots are too good. However, given all the injuries to the Chargers, they really hung in there. The D looked good, it was just the inability to capitalize in the red-zone. You can't beat the best by kicking field goals.

The team (and fans) should be proud of the season. It was rocky at the start but they looked great in the second half of the year. I don't expect too much turnover in the offseason (Goff? Turner? Florence?) and I think we'll see the Bolts back in the AFC Championship game next year.

By the way, I used to not root for Brady and Belichick. I still hate "The Monk" (the grimace, the sweatshirt, the cheating, the no-answers in press conferences, the injury report manipulations, etc.) but damn it, Tom Brady is the man and the Pats are a great team to watch. Hell, they're a great team dynasty PERIOD. Brady could be one of my favorite players if he wasn't banging my girl Gisele, but alas, my heart is too wounded to make such statements.

* * * * *

The candidate I was originally planning on voting for in the primary has dropped out of the race, causing me to scramble and figure out my new Prez. I'm almost set on my vote. Almost.

* * * * *

Happy MLK Day tomorrow, except for those of you in Arizona...

* * * * *

Lyrics of the Week:

"She's moving on without you
The tide breaks
You watch the stars fade
They gather you back to their home
I guess it's better than being alone."

-"Star Mile", Joshua Radin

"Honey, what's all that noise from next door?"

Work was shit today so when I got home after the gym, I decided to really relax. I drew a piping hot bath, turned on some tunes, lit some candles and just chilled out for what I think ended up being well over an hour.

(Note to self: Double check selected playlist next time if the iPod is going to be out of reach. It's never a good thing if you are blaring Q Lazzarus' "Goodbye Horses" late at night. The neighbors might think something's up...)

Goodwill Hunting

For some reason - call it my Mr. Rogers phase, I guess - but I wanted to add some cardigan sweaters to my closet inventory. I figured my best bet was the local Goodwill store. I really like going to thrift stores.

However, my fascination with thrift stores runs a little deeper than just the fantastic deals you find. (By the way, my bud John can spend a mere 5 minutes in a thrift store and somehow end-up with the ultimate find. He and I have pieced together some serious "danger gear" over the years at various southland Goodwills and thrift stores.) It's a given that thrift shopping is like treasure hunting, right? When you find that perfect something for next to nothing, it's a pretty satisfying feeling! For me, walking down the aisles of a Goodwill is a little like reading a book without words. My imagination really turns on and I start to do a lot of thinking. I think most people who shop at thrift stores do it out of necessity and because of their financial state. I don't think they ponder about the fact that a lot of the things in these places are from people who are no longer alive. The things that are on the shelves, for some, are the only thing left in the world that belonged to them. I know, they are just things right? But how many of us are totally attached to our things? (What's the saying, "after awhile, our posessions start owning us"?) How many of you have an absolute favorite t-shirt or pair of jeans? These things mean a lot to us, right?

When we die, our jewelry and other valuable possessions get passed down to family members, but our clothing usually means very little to our loved ones after we're gone and more than likely, they'll end up being donated to a thrift store. So when I am perusing the aisles of a thrift store, I sometimes think up stories of the people behind the things on the racks. When I find an awesome vintage cardigan valued at $100 marked with a $5 price tag resting between a ratty "Disneyland 1990" sweatshirt or a neon pink "Welcome to Utah!" hoodie, I can't help but to think of the person who owned it and probably cherished it. How he maybe bought it for a special occassion or maybe wore it as a comfort outfit. When I come across a piece of clothing that reeks of cigarette smoke, I first wonder "Who in their right mind is going to buy this?" but then I also wonder if it belonged to someone who passed from cancer. When I see loads of brand new baby clothes with tags still attached, I get to thinking about the family who maybe never got to bring a baby home and wonder if they donated all of the clothes because they were too painful to keep around.

I find comfort in the knowledge that someday, after I am long gone from this world, maybe someone will still be walking around in my favorite cardigan.

Cram Session

Man, you ever lay your head on your pillow and just sigh and realize you put in one helluva day?

As I blog from my bed, I'm in that state...here was my schedule today:

*Woke up at 5:30, made breakfast and worked out (my new Power90 DVD) at home

*Showered and got to work at 7:00.

*Worked my ass off until the Charger game

*Still worked during the game but ducked in and out of the bar to catch some highlights

*Watched the entire 4th quarter

*Worked for two more hours then played 9 holes

*Went downtown for a homeless feed a friend invited me to

*Hit the gym, riding the bike for 22 miles

*Got home, made dinner and studied my PGA stuff for an hour

*Blogged

Phew!

I've Got The Power (Point)

Took some time out of my schedule today to give a presentation at San Diego State University for their Business Administration school. The seminar was called "Leadership is a Choice" and it was a day full of presentations and workshops all about, you guessed it, leadership.

My presentation was my first crack at PowerPoint and I thought I did very well. I was given 55 minutes to speak and my plan was to speak for 30 minutes and have Q&A for the remaining time. However, I strayed a bit from my script and ended up taking almost 45 minutes, which was okay because there were only a few questions in the end, so I filled my entire allotted time. My presentation was titled "The Art of Direction: When Skill Isn't Enough" and the gist of it was that having a skilled and talented staff isn't enough, that being a successful manager means you sometimes need to give direction and recognize how to get people to do what you want.

It was kinda cool to be the youngest presenter (a Captain of the US Marines was probably 30 or so) and it was a great honor. Among the other presenters was a board member from Qualcomm, someone from Harrah's Rincon, the regional director of Subway, and the General Manager of the San Diego Wildcats (ABA team.) I love management and I love leading and being able to tell people my style and ideas on the topic is a real thrill.

The Music Post

Let's start this baby off with a list:

Top Ten Favorite Bands/Artists of All-Time
10.The Rolling Stones
9. Jeff Buckley
8. Elvis Costello
7. The Notorious B.I.G.
6. Nirvana
5. Jay-Z
4. The Beastie Boys
3. Elliott Smith
2. The Smashing Pumpkins
1. The Beatles

Just missed the cut: The Beach Boys, Jimmy Eat World, Sublime, Rage Against The Machine, Kanye West, Counting Crows, Radiohead, David Bowie.

* * * * *

You ever "discover" an artist or band years after they were popular and wish you were there from the beginning? After "Good Will Hunting," I took an immediate following to Elliott Smith and got to eagerly await two of his albums before his death in 1993. I wish I could have known him back in his Heatmiser days, or at the very least when he debuted "Roman Candle". Another favorite of mine from the list above died too early, that being Jeff Buckley. I had always known of Jeff Buckley's cult following while I was in college but never ventured to listen to the music. It wasn't until about 6 years ago did I borrow "Grace" from a friend and instantly I became a fan.

Anywho, a band I just learned about that I wish I followed from the beginning is Red House Painters. Similar styles to Smith and Buckley, I've just recently gobbled up all their albums and have been really loving them.

* * * * *

Do you have to own every album to have a group considered a favorite? How about just the mainstream albums? Does owning concert DVDs and bootleg albums make you a better fan or just someone with more expendable income?

From my list above, I own every major released album by the top seven. I'm not a hardcore fan of any group, really, but I do own a few Beatles books, two concert DVDs from The Smashing Pumpkins (plus the CD of Billy Corgan's short-lived Zwan project), hunted down and burned or acquired through other fans great B-sides, bootlegs and rarities of Elliott Smith, and also own a Jeff Buckley DVD as well.

Does it make me a better fan? I don't think so.

* * * * *

Please feel free to post your Top Ten lists, or let us know what groups you became a fan of later in their careers, or your thoughts about owning every album, DVD, etc. of a group in the comment section!

You Can Call Me, Al

" 'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all. "

--Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1850

I'm not so sure if that's true, Alfred...something tells me the two photos of you below were taken during two stages of your life: Pre-Love and Post-Love.

Wiki Wonderful

For a guy who starves for information, there's nothing much better than Wikipedia.

Things I've Wiki'd in the last 48 hours:

*1992 election (Did you know Bill Clinton didn't win a state until March 10?)

*Asics shoes (Did you know Asics is an anagram for the Latin phrase "anima sana in corpore sano" which means "a sound mind in a sound body"?)

*Niacin (Did you know common side affects of niacin is facial flushing and itching? I sure did!!)

*Digable Planets (Did you know "Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)" -- one of my all-time favorite songs -- earned the group a Grammy award for Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group?)

Sunday rumblings

Phew...that was close.

* * * * *

Was getting ready for work this morning at the Info-Hour (1 AM -5 AM) (sidenote #1: Downfall for being a manager in the golf industry is that when it rains, all salaried co-workers run the property and we only bring in hourly staff as needed...so since it was my GM's day off, I set my alarm this morning for 4:00 to see if it was raining. It was, so I had to open the shop and coordinate all the outside service and pro shop staff and contact the Superintendent and Food & Bev Manager to implement a labor action plan. And to boot, when it rains, we make no money, so my bonus is ultimately at stake! And I used to LOVE the rain!!) and saw an ad for the new (?) Oreck XL 21 vacuum. (sidenote #2: "Vacuum" is most def one of those words that just absolutely looks wrong when written out. And the more and more I look at it, the more and more foreign it gets to me.)

The selling point of the Oreck XL 21? "The Oreck XL 21 is so powerful, it has the same suction power as a Class Two hurricane!" Living in Southern California, I have no idea how powerful that actually is, but c'mon...does it really make sense to compare a household appliance to a natural disaster? "The TriMega Super Duper Soda Can Crusher is so powerful, it has the same force as six Malibu mudslides!"

* * * * *

I'm not ashamed to admit this...I rode 20 miles this morning at the gym listening solely (or maybe in this case, "souly") to a two-song loop on the iPod: Kanye's "Stronger" and Timberlake's " What Goes Around.../...Comes Around".

How do they know?

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Scenes from New Years

The La Jolla Torrey Pines Hilton was amazing...got in free ($250 V.I.P. tickets), had a great dinner (pan-seared Ahi with coconut wasabi), drank for free and partied with 4,000 people over 1 million square feet of lounge and dance floors.

This is what it looked like from behind the V.I.P. ropes!

The main outside patio. Beautiful with great music and bar service.

This is Laura, our Go-Go Dancer. I'm pretty sure she thought about me while making out with someone at the stroke of midnight...

Fabian, Robert and my man Hector, the ringleader of the night.

The host DJ was Donald Glaude, who I guess is big time in the club scene. He had me dancing, I know that for a fact.

Quote of the Year

Back in high school, my man The King had a journal in which he kept "Quotes of the Year," which were basically funny, odd or totally irrelevant quotes that he would hear at school or whatever. I think "What, you haven't seen pornographic skeletons?" and "I'll zap your balls gonads" were the winners at year's end.

Every now and then, I'll post what I believe is a worthy nomination for The Year of Joe Quote of the Year. Here is this year's first entry:

"Well, I'm going to buy both of them, so I think I'll try 'em both on."
--Kory Burroughs (when asked which shoe, the right or the left, he'd like to try on before buying.)

"The Year of Joe" continues!

You know how it is every year...you make goals, plans, resolutions -- give it a name -- around this time of year. A year ago I started this blog to track what I was intending to be a huge year for myself.

It got crazy busy at work early in the year and I had to abandon this darn thing, but with the New Year here and constant patronizing by my friends, I'm re-upping another year of "The Year of Joe", The Blog©.

My dear friend Conradical asked me today "The Year of Joe is officially over. How did it turn out?"

Well, Conrad, and my faithful readers, here's what I planned to do in 2007 and a recap of how it all turned out:

I invite all of you to join along while I search for a pay raise, a new apartment and a lady friend, among other things. I'm also in the process of getting a new car (how I came to this worth re-telling in a future post) and working on shrinking my waistline. As you can see, I've got a shit load on my plate this year, but I plan to make it all come to fruition, come hell or high water.

Pay raise? Check. (Also a promotion -- same title, mind you -- but at one of the most prestigous courses in our company and probably #2 or #3 in all of San Diego, regardless of management company.)

New apartment? Check. Sure, it's smaller than I had imagined ("Thanks what she said!") but it's your typical "Starter Bachelor Studio" and it IS only a stone's throw (or two) from work and in the middle of perfect Fashion Valley. So I got that going for me, which is nice...

A new lady friend? Negative. Thought I was close but it was really all wrong on so many levels. This remains on the list for '08 but remember, I'm not looking. Just waiting!

New car? Got it. Rollin' in da Honda...Special Edition, to boot!

Shrinking waistline? Still shrinking. I put on 10 pounds since June when I got the new job...it was a mix of not having time to cook, thus eating out a lot, and eating horrible (yet delish) food at work for lunch, like fries and shit like that. But I joined the Y just down the street from me right after Thanksgiving and I've shredded the 10 pounds and then some already. My new favorite thing? Hitting the bike at the gym...I'm currently doing 20 miles in the morning and night. Also incorporated some supplements into my diet for the first time, so I'll be looking forward to the upcomig changes.

All in all, it was a very, very good year! In addition to the goals I set out for myself, I also made some new friends, got a brother-in-law and was accepted into the PGA Program.

In case you were wondering, here's what I got planned for 2008, the NEW Year of Joe:

*Continue to get my weight down
*Pass Level I of the PGA Program
*Make progress at work, but not necessarily a new job or promotion
*Find a good catch, if you know what I mean
*Win a fantasy championship
*Visit Yankee Stadium before it closes
*Blog on this baby WAY more often than last year

As can see, I'm really planning on building on what was an awesome 2007 and take it to a whole new level. 2008, here I come!

The Prodigal Son Returns

I'm blogging via my new BlackBerry...no more excuses!

I got a raise!!

Straight cash, homie!

Had a nice phone call with the Regional Director yesterday, which ended with him giving me a raise.

It's allllll coming together . . .

"Go the distance."

Had to fill up the ol' gas tank late last night as the pump icon was brightly lit for the entire day.

Significance, you ask?

I last filled my tank in San Jose on Tuesday afternoon. That was 406.3 miles ago! Woo hoo! If I got 220 miles on a tank from my truck, I was doing cartwheels in the parking lot of Arco. 400 miles?!

As Borat would say, "Niiice!"

All about balance

Took two days off (well, it's rare I take two days off during the week, let alone two in a row, so this felt more like a mini vacation rather than a weekend) on Monday and Tuesday and spent it up in the Bay Area. I visited and stayed with my bud Adam and his wife in San Jose and spent the two days following my cousin and his college golf team in Santa Cruz. It was a great two days.

Today I'm playing in a golf tournament and really looking forward to it.

Work is going much better now that I'm balancing my workload with taking days off. It's all about balance and moderation, right?

An open letter to my three best friends and future brother-in-law:

Hey guys,

One of you is married, another is getting married this year and the other two of you are in serious relationships. Here's the thing: I like kids. Some I even love. I do love baseball. Combine the two and you get Little League, Pony Baseball, High School Baseball, etc.

What I'm getting at is you guys need to start having some male progeny (and no, Kory, you can't have a child with my sister.) I need y'all to start producing some Little Leaguers around that I can coach or at least help teach baseball to. I drove by a field yesterday and saw a baseball practice and had a feeling come over me like "Man, I really want to coach Little League."

So my plea to you guys is to begin to really think about starting families, namely athletic boys, preferably left-handed with good hand-eye coordination.

Thanks,

Joe

Monday Night at Largo

What a great night.

Spent the evening with my best friend (although it's that in jeopardy after I read his latest blog entry) at his favorite venue, had great food (the Baked Honey Chicken comes highly recommended), good libations, and watched some comedy from a mere ten feet away.

Oh, it was not just any comedy.

I met my future wife.

It's dark, I know. It was taken with minimal lighting and on a camera phone to boot. Of course, for all I know John (the man who captured this magical moment) could have sabotaged the photo just to spite me. (Kidding!) But regardless of the photo quality, you can tell three things without a doubt: It's me, it's Sarah Silverman and we're smiling.

The showcase was called "Sarah Silverman and Friends" and she mentioned a few times that her mom was in the audience (if you can call 80 people in great, tiny club an "audience".)

Anyway, I'm glad at this point of our relationship I'm finally meeting Sarah's family and friends. I'm convinced we're really onto something here.

Ha ha!

After weeks of Google and Blogger screwing me over by not allowing me to log in to post, I've finally broken through! I'm in! You can't hold a brotha down too long!!

Blogging will now resume. . .

Three decals I don't understand why people put on their cars:

1. "In loving memory of . . . "
If I ever go out early, please oh please don't memoralize me with a decal on the back of your 1994 Pontiac Firebird with the lifespan of my years on this earth. I never understood this phenomenon.

2. "BUCK FUSH"
We all know what it's supposed to say. If you're so edgy to bash the President, then at least have the balls to put exactly what you mean. Bucking fitch.

3. The stick figure families
You've seen these. Blue stick figures representing the males in the family (and the only difference between the father and the son is that the father stick figure is bigger) and pink ones (that look just like the blue ones except for the curly hair and dress) for Mother and Daughter. I'm not sure why you want to let strangers on the road how many little daughters live at your house or if you're a single mom with four kids. What's even worse is when they have the stick figure dog.

My "I Haven't Seen Any Of These Movies" Oscar Predictions

I used to be a movie fiend. A buff, if you will. I used to go every week to watch the blockbusters and the tiny indy flicks. But over the last 18 months or so, I find myself rarely going to the theaters. That said, I really feel left out looking at the Academy Award nominees this year. I've seen about three of the movies. Then again, I've heard the movies this year weren't all that impressive.

So without further notice, here are my uneducated Oscar picks:

Best Picture: "The Departed"
I'm only picking it because a) it's the only one I've seen and b) I really, really liked it. I think "Little Miss Sunshine" will pull off the upset (would that be an upset?) though. I see "Letters from Iwo Jima" is nominated. I know Clint Eastwood directed it and was WWII epic like his "Flags of our Fathers" but told from the Japanese viewpoint. When "Flags" came out, everyone was touting it as Best Pic worthy. Was "Letters" that much better and what happened to all the buzz that was surrounding "Flags"?

Best Director: Martin Scorsese
Martin is the man and "The Departed" was everything I love in a movie. If he doesn't win, Eastwood ("Letters") is always deserving. I also would love to see Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu ("Babel") win. His "21 Grams" is one of my favorite movies ever and "Amores Perros" was very, very good as well. What a talent!

Best Actor: Forest Whitaker
I guess he's supposed to run away with it. I've always liked Forest and his crazy lazy eye. Wouldn't mind seeing Will Smith or Leo win it too.

Best Actress: Helen Mirren
She took home the hardware (twice) in the Golden Globes and everyone says she did a great job. Is it just me or does Judi Dench and Meryl Streep get nominated every year?

Best Original Screenplay: "Little Miss Sunshine"
Haven't seen it. I should have. The trailers made it look like a movie right up my alley. I hope the writer is rewarded.

Who do you like?

Light bloggin'

If I could go one day without reading, hearing or seeing any news about Britney Spears, Paris Hilton or Anna Nicole Smith, I'd be amazing. Shocked even.

* * * * *

On the other hand, I could look at photos of Jessica Alba all day long. (Thanks Scott for the tip.)

* * * * *

Going to Karaoke on Thursday night . . . I'm taking requests.

Day off dilemna

Tomorrow is my day off. I really don't have much planned. I don't feel like playing golf (spending 60+ hours at a golf course in a week will do that do you.) I can't really go out late, given that I'll be at work the next day. I got new tires on my bike and have only rode on it twice since I got them replaced a couple weeks ago. I'll definitely be pedaling tomorrow. Up to Huntington Beach, I think. I'll also run a few errands and do a few chores.

Other than that, I have no idea. I used to always watch all the nominated films every year but recently I haven't been all that inspired. Manana I just might catch a flick, 'Babel' being the leadig contender now. Maybe later I'll do some number crunching for the upcoming fantasy baseball drafts I'm in.

Now for your help: If I have a day off next week, what should I do? Any recommendations or ideas?

Blogging Las Vegas

Didn't have much on the ol' mind today, so after work I flipped on the NBA All-Star Game. It was halfway over but I figured "Hell, why not blog the second half?"

• 6:54 PM And performing at halftime is . . . Toni Braxton? Really?
• 7:01 PM Mmmm, Christina Aguilera. Let the record retroactively show that I was ALWAYS a Christina-guy, even back when she was getting labeled as trashy and Brittney was the queen of pop. I think it's safe to say now Brittney is about an 11 on the trash scale while Christina is clearly the more talented, as well as being more and more often praised for her look and style, which most often is called "glamorous."
• 7:06 PM Wow, I've been watching for 15 minutes now and already five jokes about Charles Barkley's gambling habits.
• 7:09 PM They just aired a new Nike Air Jordan commercial. It shows the tragic final seconds of a high school hoops game with Mozart's Requiem playing . . . I don't care what any one says; that's one great commercial. Fantastic. And coming from a great brand (see this commercial as another recent example), one should expect nothing less.
• 7:14 PM The "Jeep Game Summary" catches me up on the stats up to the half . . . nice to know the East is leading in dunks, 15-9.
• 7:16 PM I really like the jerseys. It's a few years in a row now that I think the NBA has nailed them.
• 7:18 PM Amare Stoudemire and Tracy McGrady are both wearing #1 for the West. If I was Eddie Jordan, I'd file a protest with the League office. And yes, I'm calling it the League office. I hate that people call the NBA "the Association."
  
• 7:21 PM There was just about fifteen turnovers committed in the last two minutes. I know it's the All-Star Game, but it's really a microcosm of why I don't watch NBA basketball: no defense and sloppy play.
• 7:24 PM They are playing music during the game over the loud speakers. Is it because it's just an exhibition or is that normal for an NBA game?
• 7:27 PM Dirk "Don't call me Barry Pepper" Nowitzki is shown on the bench. They flash he's a 9-year veteran. God damn, I feel old.
• 7:30 PM Sprite really needs to stop with those sublymonal commercials. They scare me.
• 7:31 PM The Super Bowl favorite Bud Light "paper, rock, scissors" commercial just aired. I just noticed that the guy must have been carrying that rock the whole time. Who carries a rock around during a BBQ? Those are not people I want drinking my Bud Lights.
• 7:32 PM Only about sixty mentions of Jeep so far, whether it's a commercial, promo or "sponsored by . . ." At this point I'm expecting Doug Collins to interview the game's MVP inside a Jeep at halfcourt.
• 7:35 PM I'm willing to bet that Tony Prker keeps his socks on when he makes love. Freakin' Frenchie.
• 7:38 PM Caron Butler is an All-Star? How's the Kwame Brown trade doing now, Laker fans?
• 7:40 PM 3rd quarter comes to a close (119-88, people) and even though it's the NBA's showcase for all their stars, I'm still not remotely interested in watching a second more. Now I know why I didn't want to watch this in the first place.

Can baseball start any sooner?

Hot damn!

It was about 80 degrees today. Sunny and dry. Would have been perfect if not for the wind.

Did I forget to mention it's February? God bless global warming!

And speaking of such a topic, I think this is friggin' hilarious. If you missed it, this is from last week:

HOUSE HEARING ON 'WARMING OF THE PLANET' CANCELED AFTER ICE STORM
Tue Feb 13 2007 19:31:25 ET

The Subcommittee on Energy and Air Quality hearing scheduled for Wednesday, February 14, 2007, at 10:00 a.m. in room 2123 Rayburn House Office Building has been postponed due to inclement weather. The hearing is entitled “Climate Change: Are Greenhouse Gas Emissions from Human Activities Contributing to a Warming of the Planet?”

On the same day, Maryville University in St. Louis cancelled a screening of Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" due to a snow storm. Oh how I love irony!

Best Pic

Watched 'The Departed' tonight.

Wow.

On top of that, I watched the two last episodes of 'Lost' last night.

Double wow.

You can't spell "Valentine's Day" without V.D.

WARNING: This post is extremely negative. Perhaps even depressing. It's basically me feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in my sorrow. You have been warned. Proceed with caution.

What a miserable piece of shit holiday.

Don't get me wrong. Would I have had someone to spend it with, I'd love the day. With my willingness to go all out and my spontaneous romantic creativity (yes, I have it, just no one to use it on), I would rock the shit out of Valentine's Day.

And ladies, you know this!

But alas, I have no significant other. Hell, I don't even have an insignificant other. So, in a word, this day flat out sucks.

When I got off work, I was feeling rather melancholy so I thought I'd treat myself to some sushi and sake. (Spicy tuna rolls and salmon with cream cheese rolls, if you must know.) For the twenty minutes or so I partook in this delicious meal, I was feeling fairly content. That I realized I was alone eating sushi and drinking an entire bottle of sake. I never drink alone. Hell, I hardly drink period. But to finish off an entire bottle of ice-cold sake by myself is just plain dispiriting.

Know what else is depressing? My life just became a once-funny-now-oddly-bleak movie quote. Remember in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" when the character Frank says "The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from my mother. How pathetic is that?"?

Well, the only thing I got for Valentine's was a card and candied apple from my mom. It's really sweet and I love her for it. But it sucks because it's the only thing I got.

If that wasn't bad enough, I think I nailed the trifecta today of women kicking me in the proverbial balls:

1. A total stranger at work asked me what I'm doing for Valentine's Day tonight. I told her nothing. She wondered why and I told her I didn't have a Valentine. So she tells me that I am handsome and very kind, which gives me a big smile. Then she seriously asks me "So what's wrong with you?" Nice lady. Really friggin' nice.

2. An ex-girlfriend brought up an amazing Valentine's we had together back in the day. As if that's supposed to help?

3. Someone gave me the classic, eternally dejecting line of "We should just be friends." I wonder why Hallmark hasn't come out with a card that reads that. Seems like it'd be a huge seller. Regardless of your intentions, it's a line you never want to hear. I basically means "There's at least one thing glaringly wrong with you or else I'd like a deeper relationship." Now there has Shoebox Greetings written all over it!

Now given incidents 1 and 3, I'm now wondering . . . What exactly is wrong with me?

I honestly hope all of you who did spend Valentine's Day with a loved one had a great time. (By the way, all of you who responded to my mass text message, thanks. You lifted my spirits. And I love you all for it.)

Things I Love

As promised, here's a list of just a few things that I love, an idea inspired by my bud John.

Breakfast at night
I love a hearty, four-course meal as much as the next guy, but there's something so comforting and simple about a big bowl of cereal late at night or scrambled eggs and toast after a long day of work. I'm even a bigger fan of having breakfast after hours at hole-in-the-wall diners.

Driving for no reason
Although it's not very conducive in this age of costly petrol, I absolutely love just driving. No set destination. No plans where I'll turn next. I'm very solitary by nature, so I really enjoy being by myself and just taking in the road in front of me. Usually it's a drive up the coast in the afternoon and soaking up the view of the ocean, but my favorite is driving at night, windows down and heater on, with some great music and just heading south.

Baseball
It's the greatest game. I love to watch it. I love to play it. I love to read about it. I love to try and dissect it and its stats. Not only is the game wonderful, but so are some of the residuals. The sound of the crack of bat against ball. The smell of peanuts and hot dogs. The eternal debating in bars and living rooms. Give me baseball or give me death, I say.

The area on a woman between the neck and shoulder
There are a lot of parts of the female that attract me: eyes, smile and legs are three that I constantly find myself checking out. But there's just something about that tiny area just at the bottom of the neck, just below the shoulder. I don't know what it is about it. But damn it, I love it. I doubly love it if I catch you caressing or rubbing it. Sweet Jesus. I think the Devil said it best (Pacino in 'Devil's Advocate'):

"A woman's shoulders are the frontlines of her mystique. And her neck, if she's alive, has the very mystery of a border town."

In case you can't picture the spot I'm waxing poetic about, here's my girl Evangeline Lilly to show us all just what I mean:

Sushi
I've only been eating sushi for about four years now, but it's easily leapfrogged the likes of pizza, steak, club sandwich and calamari for the title of "Favorite food". If not for the price, I could eat sushi every day. If I ever strike it rich, there will be a sushi chef on staff at my palatial estate at all times.

Holding hands
Not that I've done much of this lately, but from what I remember -- sigh . . . -- I love it. While it's perhaps the most simple form of physical affection, it really works, at least for me. Do it walking, do it while cuddled on the couch, it's all the same. It's constant holding, it's a sense of security, it's love broken down to it's essence. If you love someone, hold their hand tomorrow.

The piano
I wish I could play the darn thing. I think the piano produces the most beautiful music. The piano can bridge any musical style to my liking. And it doesn't even have to be very complex playing. Just the soft pounding of the keys can get me all happy. For example, the piano in Coldplay's "Trouble" just rocks me.

A cool pillow
You know what I'm talking about. The moment you lay your face on it, a calmness just rushes over you. If this company ever goes public, I'll be first in line to invest.

So that happened . . .

Wow.

It's a blur and barely a blur at that.

If you haven't noticed, this blog has gone dormant during the past week. I knew last week would be busy at work, but I had no idea what was truly in store for me.

Monday: 8 AM - 8 PM
Tuesday: 7 AM - 8 PM
Wednesday: 5 AM - 8 PM
Thursday: 5 AM - 8 PM
Friday: 5 AM - 8 PM
Saturday: 5 AM - 6 PM

Not only were the hours brutal, but I was more stressed than I've ever been. Headaches, stomach cramps, breaking out, sore legs . . . I thought by Friday that I was going to cry myself to sleep.

But as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Hell, yesterday on Monday I worked 11 hours and it felt like a half day!

I rewarded myself by heading up to Pebble Beach in the middle of the night on Saturday to follow a friend's final round of the PGA Tour event (he finished 3rd!) We drove 6 hours straight to get there at 7 AM. We spent the day at Pebble, then left at 4 PM to get home at 10:30 PM. What a trip! While I didn't catch up on my sleep that I've been sorely lacking (I did that last night . . . I feel refreshed as ever now), it was great to get some fresh air and spend the entire day out of the office.

This week will still be busy but not so busy where I won't be blogging again. It's my day off today and my brotha-from-anotha-mutha John had a great blog post the other day about some of his favorite things. I think I'm going to partake in a few of my favorite things today, then I think I'll do a similar list.

Later!

I don't know if we'll have enough time.

Okay, I'll do one . . .

13 hour day, so I can't make this a regular post. Tomorrow will be even longer and busier at work (something like 5:30 AM to 8:00 PM) so I can't promise much tomorrow as well.

Plus 'Lost' is back on too!

So let's generate some discussion which a caption contest!

Time keeps on slippin'

This might sound lame to you, but I reached another monumental moment in my weight loss: my watch has gotten too lose to wear on my wrist at the current notch. When I bought the watch in August, I had to wear it on the second notch. I'm now down to the four notch.

Good news is that this means I'm losing weight and it's the weight that doesn't disappear when you step on the scale. Bad news was at one time, I had somewhat fatty wrists. Yuck!

* * * * *

This blog has been increasing in visits (and comments) by the day. For all you who are reading and kind enough to contribute in the comment section, thank you. Your support and participation makes it easier to write something new every day.

The coolest thing about running a blog/website is the tracking you can do. A few weeks ago someone found this blog by Googling "How tall is comedian Lewis Black?" Random, I know.

In the last two weeks, I've gotten some interesting repeat visitors. One from Cal State San Bernadino, one from UC San Francisco and most interestingly, one from Argentina. If any of you three read this, lemme know who you are and how you found this magnificent blog!

Greetings!

UPDATE: After posting tonight, I checked my tracker and within the last 30 minutes, I had a visit from Canada and China.

People know me from coast to coast like butter and toast!

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Lyrics of the Week:

Who am I, what and why?
'Cuz all I have left is my memories of yesterday
Ooh, these sour times

'Cuz nobody loves me
It's true
Not like you do

-Portishead, "Sour Times"

Where I went super wrong . . .

1. Quarterbacks Peyton Manning (19-42, 273 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT) and Rex Grossman (16-38, 302 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT, 1 fumble) will have similar stats but it'll be Grossman's two turnovers that make him the goat. Manning's mistakes will come in the first half whereas Grossman will have a poor second half.

Well, I was off on both of their numbers, but I was right about Manning getting better as the game wore on. If you told me before the game that Grossman would have thrown for 165 yards and 2 INTs, I would have put all the money in the world on the Colts.

2. There won't be a single 100 yard rusher, but the two-headed tandems for each team (Addai and Rhodes: 162 yards, Thomas and Benson: 155 yards) will combine for over 150 yards apiece.

I was wrong that there wouldn't be a 100 yard rusher. However, Addai and Rhodes did have big days combining for 190 yards. I think if Benson wasn't hurt in the first quarter, the Bears would have rushed for over 150 total yards.

3. The biggest offensive stars will be each team's respective top wideout (Harrison: 141 yards, 1 TD and Muhammed: 110 yards, 2 TD).

Both receivers had mediocre games. It was Wayne and Berrian who were the go-to guys for Indy and Chicago.

4. The Colts will score on their opening drive but Chicago will hold them to only 10 points in the entire first half.

Wrong again. I don't think I'll be opening any palm reading shops any time soon.

5. Grossman's interception will be returned for a TD.

Ah ha! Got that one right!

6. Devin Hester will return a kick for a TD but it will be called back on a Chicago penalty.

I saw holding on his return, didn't you?

7. Adam Vinatieri will be the last player to score in the entire game and his kick will come with 3:00 left in the game.

Hey, he was the last one to score, however it was 3:00 into the 4th quarter.

Overall, the game was sloppy but it was fun to watch and some of the commercials were good too. I'm glad Indianapolis won and now Peyton got the monkey off his back.

Know what this means now?

10 days 'til pitchers and catchers!!

My Fearless, Way Too Detailed Super Bowl Predictions

1. Quarterbacks Peyton Manning (19-42, 273 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT) and Rex Grossman (16-38, 302 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT, 1 fumble) will have similar stats but it'll be Grossman's two turnovers that make him the goat. Manning's mistakes will come in the first half whereas Grossman will have a poor second half.

2. There won't be a single 100 yard rusher, but the two-headed tandems for each team (Addai and Rhodes: 162 yards, Thomas and Benson: 155 yards) will combine for over 150 yards apiece.

3. The biggest offensive stars will be each team's respective top wideout (Harrison: 141 yards, 1 TD and Muhammed: 110 yards, 2 TD).

4. The Colts will score on their opening drive but Chicago will hold them to only 10 points in the entire first half.

5. Grossman's interception will be returned for a TD.

6. Devin Hester will return a kick for a TD but it will be called back on a Chicago penalty.

7. Adam Vinatieri will be the last player to score in the entire game and his kick will come with 3:00 left in the game.



And now my Fearless, Not So Detailed Super Bowl Predictions:

Colts 27, Bears 23. (MVP: Marvin Harrison)

Great White Hype

I was in line at the grocery store and noticed whitening chewing gum. Now I've known about this product but I've never used or nor have I thought much about it. Standing in what was the slowest moving line ever assembled gave me plenty of ample time to think about it.

Who the hell chews gum with their front teeth? I chew gum with my molars but I've never once said to myself "Geez, I wish my molars were whiter." Isn't it the front teeth people get bleached? Therefore you must chew the gum with your front teeth for the whitening to take place, right?

And if it's not the gum-on-teeth contact that causes the whitening, who in God's green earth is keeping that much saliva in their mouth that is allowing the whitening process to take affect?!?!

I demand answers.

Now hair me out . . .

I had a crazy, crazy dream last night. I honestly don't remember the last time I had a dream or nightmare, but last night's was quite vivid.

So I was getting ready for a date (yeah, so you know it's clearly a dream) and I got out of the shower and was trying to get my hair just perfect. For the life of me, I nothing worked and I started freaking out. So I decided to cut my own hair. In doing so, I left brutal, awful patches of missing hair and started freaking out even more. I was so worked up and my 'do looked so bad, I completely bailed on the date.

Then I woke up. I'm pretty sure I had a nervous breakdown in my sleep. Wonder what Freud would say about that.

* * * * *

The day at the Corporate Office went great. Got to meet a lot of familiar voices . . . it's weird "knowing" people only because you talk to them on the phone a lot. It was nice to finally meet them face to face.

One person I met was the Director of West Operations, probably third or fourth from the top of the chain of command in the entire company. When my GM introduced me, he told him "This guy will be one of your GMs in a year or so."

So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

* * * * *

Made the schedule for next week. We're rolling out the brand new POS system, so I need to be there to train everyone, make sure they know what they're doing plus stick around to answer any questions and solve any snafus. Total hours for the week?

Seventy-nine.

Whoo ahh!