The word of the day is...

Friday night I had a super casual date. And I almost screwed it up before it even started.

Work on Friday was CRAZY busy, as I was still there at 8 PM. Problem was I had a coffee date with a girl at 8 PM. When 7 PM rolled around and I knew I was going to be stuck at work, I called the girl to see if I could extend the start of our date for an hour. Luckily she was totally understanding and actually was glad I pushed it back, as she was running late too.

So I was sorta excited about this girl...the mutual friend really built her up. "Athletic", "smokin' hot" (his exact words...I was hoping he was talking about her looks, not that she burned when she peed), "friendly", etc. I really trust this guy's opinions and I didn't have any reason to think this girl wasn't everything he was saying.

And let the record show -- post-date -- that she fit the billing. She was cute, had some very admirable career aspirations, and was really quite sweet. So why am I writing about her on The Year of Joe? Well, obviously at some point it all went to shit.

So there I sat at Espresso Mio (which is by far the best coffee bar/cafe I've been to since moving to San Diego) with Kirsten. Or was it Kursten? I don't really know how it's spelled, but I kept calling her "Kirsten" (as in Kirsten Dunst) but she always corrected me that it was pronounced "Kursten". Whatever.

Anywho, we're enjoying some java and making small talk. She starts telling me about how used to be a model and hair stylist but quit to go to school and become a youth counselor for at-risk teens. I tried to listen intently, but the moment she said "model", I was trying to figure out what kind of model. Like a supermodel? Or maybe she appeared in a Sears catalog once wearing a pair of $9.99 sweatpants or something. Anyway, I'm on a date with a model, nonetheless!

So I ask her where she grew up and she tells me she was Army brat and moved around a lot and that she had a rough time in her teens that she luckily overcame, and the reason she's back in school was to eventually offer others in similar situations the benefit of her experiences so that they can avoid making the same mistakes. All great, I thought. That is until I chimed in with my two cents.

"Kids these days are really cynical. I can't imagine that it's easy getting through to them."

"What do you mean?" she said.

"You know how teenagers are," I said. "They think they know everything."

"No," she responds. "I meant what does the word 'cynical' mean?"

It was at that point that I heard the sound effect in my head that they play on the 'Price is Right' when you lose at a game. I knew it was over, and that no matter how good looking this woman was, and how admirable her goals, I couldn't take her seriously. In an alternate universe (or if my life was a movie), Bob Barker would have walked out from behind the counter, put his arm around me and say, "Sorry, but thanks for playing. We'll be right back with more 'Price is Right' after this!"

I mean, had I used a word like "ubiquitous" or "sesquipedalian," I could understand her asking for a definition. Hell, I'd had to go to dictionary.com myself to be entirely sure of their meanings. But "cynical"? That's just a word a 26-year old needs to know, especially if she wants to be a motivational speaker of some sort.

Am I wrong?

I've known friends who have dated some damn attractive women in the past that weren't too bright, and I'm not looking to go down that road. Did I cut bait too soon? Perhaps but for now, I'll just have to let Kirsten/Kiersten/Kersten/Kursten go and hope along with Bob Barker that she remembers to spay and neuter her pets because a minimum of an 10th grade vocabulary is a must for me.


Patrick Diaz said...

Well maybe she didnt understand the context in which you were using the word...but cmon Joe...sometimes we gotta take what we can get...lol...giv her a chance and see whats up...and if she doesnt seem up to par for you...send her my way :)

Adam G Partridge said...

When you said she was a youth counselor, I immediately thought of Kory, when Natalie told him at your birthday party that she was a social worker, Kory, said "Social worker? What kind of a worthless job is that?" If you ever Do get back with this girl, and she meets Kory, keep an eye on him.
Yea, not sure that's a deal breaker. Was that the only word she didn't know? Did she seem bright otherwise?
Assuming she wasn't that bright, wouldn't it feed your ego to explain words to her all the time? It's like your perpetually at a ball game with a girl who doesn't understand baseball, but instead of explaining why a 'K' signifies a strike, you're explaining that an anathema is something that is really disliked. You are the ruler of her universe!
Maybe you should activate the e-harmony SAT score filter.
Again, not sure that's a deal breaker if that's the only or worse thing.

Danielle said...

Let me start by saying, Patrick, you sure know how to boost a guys ego..."sometimes we gotta take what we can get" It sounds like you got an ugly hooker, and decided, well, I did pay for this.... (sorry, was that mean?)

Cynical, I could understand if you wrote it down for her and she didn't know what it meant, the more I look at it in print, the funnier it is. But you would think cynical would absolutely be in a 20 something (Oh my god Joe, she's not even 18 yet is she?) aspiring counselor's vocabulary. I mean hell, even the kid from Big Daddy used it correctly in a sentence!
I would say, not necessarily a deal breaker, but damn close. Just wait until something completely ridiculous comes up... sorry, was ridiculous to big?

j.h.k. said...

"I've known friends who have dated some damn attractive women in the past that weren't too bright..."

Care to specify, Professor?

Kory said...

Adam, I believe my direct quote to Natalie was "Social work, huh? Well, thats worthless."
John, I think hes talking to me. Your girlfriends were not that hot.

Conrad said...

ba da bum!!!

Adam G Partridge said...


j.h.k. said...

Still waitin' for an answer, Joe.

Joe said...

Kory beat me to it...


j.h.k. said...

Still waiting.

Joe said...

At ease, soldier...you are not being implicated.

j.h.k. said...

Then your balls are safe. For now.