Well, How Can I Forget You, Girl...

...when there is always something there to remind me?

(Sorry, this was the best I could come up with if you wanted to sing along. The actual video on YouTube is un-embeddable, although after watching it, I can see why.)

But really, how am I gonna forget this girl? Seriously, EVERYTHING reminds me of her. And it's the great, happy reasons-why-I-love-her memories ('cuz to be honest, I have no bad memories of her/us.) Here's how my day went:

*Wake up and think to myself "Has the past week-and-a-half all been a bad, horrible dream?" Nope. It's reality. And it sucks.

*Get ready for work and reach for my toothbrush. Oh yeah, I packed it for the move. What's left in the apartment? Her old toothbrush. (I know you're dying to know if I used it: Damn right I did. Does that make me some sicko? Not in a physical kind of sicko just because I'm using something that was in her mouth, but in the mental kind of sicko...I sure hope not.)

*I head to the mailbox because I never made it yesterday. I have three items: Pizza Hut coupons (straight into the recycle bin...SHIT! She was so all about recycling and turned me into a good little green guy...not gonna lie, if there's ANYTHING I take out of the relationship, it was that she made me a better person in so many ways...recycling, converted me into a Brita Believer, got me to wear my seatbelt at all times, became a little bit healthier of an eater, invited me to sign up for my first (and definitely not last) 5K, caused me to love something -- her -- more than anyone should possibly be able to love, etc.) Okay, back to the mailbox. Last two items? The iconic blue Tiffany & Co. April catalog and my tickets to a concert coming up I bought a few weeks ago that I was hoping I could take her to. First off, not that I had (yet) bought anything from Tiffany's for her, but c'mon, what am I supposed to think of? And second, the concert is of two of her favorite artists, so when I go (if I do go), what am I supposed to think of during it? I'll be the guy in the crying in the corner of the Palladium...look for me on "TMZ" or "America's Funniest Videos of Single Men".

*A member at the club whom I haven't seen in almost two months comes up to me and gives me a big hug. She asks how I'm doing and how the ex is doing. (Of course, she has to refer to her as "your beautiful girlfriend"* which felt like a dagger into my right atrium.) Never been one to lie (yet never been one to be totally forthcoming and reveal exactly how I'm feeling), I sheeplishly say "Oh, I'm okay. She's doing really well. Unfortunately we're not together any more." (Dagger twisting...)

*Sidenote: When one of my department heads asked why I was walking around work like a strung-out zombie last week and I told him the bad news, it really didn't help when he tells the next co-worker who walks by all about why I've been so moody at work and goes on to describe the ex as "Oh my God, she was gorgeous. Looked just like Cameron Diaz. And so smart...she was in medical school, right?" Jeez la weez, felt like I had a winning lottery ticket but Deebo rolled up on his bike and snatched it right out of my hand.

*From my office I hear on ESPN Tom Izzo, head coach of the Michigan State men's basketball team, getting interviewed. Relevance, you ask? Oh yeah, her folks are from Michigan. Her dad is probably all excited about the Green and White being in the Final Four. And he's a sports junkie. Woulda loved to have watched a game or two with the guy...

*I make lunch from the kitchen and grab an apple. Just a plain ol' red apple. Pretty sure I've looked at an apple or two in the last two weeks but never thought about anything else until now. What vision runs through my demented mind? Her perfume. Sigh...

*During a trip to the bank, a song comes on that makes me think of her...My sister calls to ask how I'm doing and we talk it out...my wine hook-up at work drops in and asks "Why do you and your lady want to drink next?"...I'm sure a few more things happened that caused me to think about her, but it's been an awful day and I just don't have the fortitude to think back all that hard.

All I want to know is "Does it get easier?"



It does, I promise. Hang in there. xoxo

Anonymous said...

OCC much?

Anonymous said...


LennonInDC said...

Sounds like you really fell hard for this girl. I've been there. Hope she realizes what she had and that you recover soon.

Sara with no "H" said...

She meant a lot to you and because of those feelings, thoughts of her surround your every moment. It's tough but human nature, not OCD.

Love your writing by the way!

Conrad said...

It does not get easier.

j.h.k. said...

It does. Just takes a loooooong time. Not days, not weeks, not months. Years, Dude. All you can do is try not to obsess over it and try not to allow yourself to entertain every single reminder.

Can I reference a little movie called "When Harry Met Sally?"

"We had lunch at this Ethiopian restaurant she wanted to go to. I'm making jokes, 'I didn't know they had food in Ethiopa. This'll be a quick meal, I'll order two empty plates and we can leave.'"

(Sally giggles)

"Yeah, nothing from her. So I downshift into small talk. I ask her where she went to school and she says Michigan State. All of a sudden my heart starts beating like a wild man and I start sweating like a pig."

"Helen went to Michigan State?"

"No, she went to Northwestern. But they're both Big 10 schools. I got so upset I had to leave the restaurant."

Aaaaand scene. Do I need to remind you what happens at the end of the movie? After spending years dealing with his divorce from Helen, he doesn't die a lonely man. He falls for Sally and Helen doesn't seem to matter anymore. Just hang in there and remember you are not alone in this. Not even close.

Jen said...

Joe it does get better, trust. Get your ass out there and start dating again!

Conrad said...

Has it gotten better yet?