Monday Night Raw

So I got home tonight after the gym and flipped on the boob tube...man, Monday programming is awful!

Because nothing was appealing, I decided to do some PGA Apprentice bookwork, but I left the TV on in the background. For whatever reason, it was left on Fox and around 8:30 or so, I looked up and saw the game show "The Moment of Truth" was on. For those of you not in the know, the premise is simple: it's "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while being strapped to a lie detector. The host (game show whore Mark L. Wahlberg) asks the contestent who's in the hot seat questions and if they answer correctly, they win an increasing amount of money. (Before the show airs, the contestants are asked something like 50 questions while attached to a polygraph and then the 21 questions are selected without the contestants knowledge how they scored and what questions will be asked on the air.)

Before we go on, here's the cast of characters (sorry about the photo quality...it's screenshots taken with a BlackBerry in a poorly-lit cave studio apartment):

Lauren, the contestant

Frank, the husband

Mark L. "Don't Call Me Marky Mark" Wahlberg, the host

I can only imagine the first few questions were somewhat tame but I caught the game on Question 9, which was "During your last job, did you ever steal money?" to which Lauren hesitated, looked at her disapproving parents*, and answered "Yes" which we found out was not a lie. So not only did she steal money one time in her past, but because she admitted it, she's gonna get more money!

*On the stage, in addition to Mark and Lauren, is a couch of Lauren's support, which is her sister, parents and Frank, and a woman I have no idea who she was. They are seated on a curved couch and in the middle in front of them is a massive button on a podium. At any point of the game, one of Lauren's support could press the button and the question she must answer is instantly passed over. The button can only be used once. More on that later...

Lauren correctly answered Questions 10 ("Do you think your parent's are proud of you?") and 11 ("Do you have any secrets about your dad you've kept from your mom?"). Lauren felt her parents were not proud of her (although they said they were) and she said she did have secrets about her dad she kept from her mom. When it was revealed that question was answerd correctly, her dad rushed on the stage and kissed Lauren, leaving the mom on the couch looking PISSED! With that last answer, Lauren won $25,000 and needed to answer four more questions to win $100,000. Now I was really sucked into this show!

After that, we were taken to commerical break, but not before a voice said "Coming up next, Lauren must face a question that could ruin her marriage!" I thought it was a typical teaser, but I had no idea what was in store.

After the break, Mark asks Lauren Question 12: "Were you in love with someone else during your wedding?"


I immediately thought it was a fluff question and that she'd say "no", proving that the teaser was just that. But Lauren took a deep breath and started muttering under her breath. After a few tense seconds, she shocked everyone by answering "Yes."

What?! All Frank could do was smile. I doubt he was happy, but rather the only thing he could do knowing he was on national television getting embarassed and learning that his marriage could be a sham.

Was Lauren telling the truth? You betcha she was! At this point, I started to get sick to my stomach. Seeing Frank's private life get ruined really got to me. Maybe because he kinda looked like me (?), maybe cuz I could relate (although I really don't know why...I'll asked Dr. G about that one on Thursday!), but I felt really bad this was going on.

Oh, and it gets worse.

Mark asks Lauren if she wants to continue and she says she's going for the $100,000 and says to bring it on. Mark then says "I won't be asking the next question...here who is." At that point, out of the laser lights and smoke machine walks Lauren's ex-boyfriend (presumably the guy she was still in love with when she got married.)

Lauren can't believe it and poor Frank looks like he just got hit by a Mack truck.

"Like, oh my God!"

Frank, save yourself!

The Ex (I hate Ex's, I really do.)

The Ex takes a deep breath and asks "Lauren, do you believe I am the man you should be married to?" Oh, snap. I so what to turn the channel but like a car accident, I can't turn away. I'm screaming inside "Damn it Frank, get the fuck out of there!" Lauren's eyes start to water and she's looking at Frank in shock. Again, to my surprise, Lauren answers "Yes" and it turns out, the bitch wasn't lying! Man, it's getting ugly now.

So I have to believe Lauren thinks she's dodged a bullet but before she can regroup, Mark tells her "Okay, well here's the next question...and again, I'm not going to ask it." The audience cheers and Lauren sinks even lower in her chair. Once again, it's the Ex's turn to pop the question:

"If I asked you to leave Frank for me right now, would you do it?

The audience is quite eager to hear her answer but before they can find out, Lauren's sister hits the button to take the question out of the game.

Saved by the bell, err, sister.

Seriously, I didn't think it could get worse for Lauren and Frank. The good news is the Ex leaves and doesn't ask any more questions. The bad news is Lauren still is a whore and has a few more questions she wants to take a chance on to win some more money.

And then came the coup d'├ętat:

"During your marriage with Frank, have you been intimate with anyone else?"

"Umm, yes?"

"That answer is....correct!"

Yeah, I'm not kidding. And as you can imagine, the stills don't even do justice of how awful the events were which were unfolding before my very eyes.

So it's one more question for dear ol' sweet Lauren to answer to win $250,000 and it couldn't have been a better, more ironic question (and result).

"Lauren, do you think you are a good person?"


"That answer is.....FALSE!"

Ha! So let me get this straight...she admitted to stealing, keeping secrets from her mom, loving another man, committing adultery AND she left with $0? Oh, she is good...good television!

I don't think I'll be watching The Moment of Truth any time soon again, but for the sake of blogging material, I'm glad I caught it. I'm just worried I won't be able to sleep tonight because I'll be wondering which bridge Frank jumped off of after the show.


Kory said...

Now, thats a long car ride home.

Adam G Partridge said...

I would never watch that show, but I imagine if I was forced to watch 30 seconds I couldn't turn away.

Danielle (Cassara) Thacker said...

How funny that I caught that last night too! I don't watch that show, nor will I ever again, because of the total lack of remorse for the carnage that lay in its wake. I can't believe that this is what people actually call "entertainment". I mean seriously, does nobody have a problem with this? How is it that this concept went from a writer, to a group of editors, and possibly to the network executives, before being filmed in front of a live audience, and not one person said "maybe this is going to far?" I hope that Mark L. Wahlberg had a hard time sleeping last night too, knowing that he contributed to the demise of poor Frank, who unknowingly married a thieving whore. And time out for one second, that money grubbing tramp actually thought she was a good person? Seriously...what is wrong with people?

Conrad said...

I think it's hilarious that she did all that and didn't get a penny (I wonder if they gave her something for appearing). I don't think I'm a bad person, but man that makes me laugh. Poor Frank though. Out of 847 reasons, this jumps to my top ten of why I don't watch reality television.

So the real question is: Do you remember one thing from your PGA studies?